Bloody Lies

02/19/2006 So you wonder why I bled and told the tales to those who've read, of how I took your love so red and cut you in my vampire bed. But oh the lies to whisper thee, when you know that I would never bleed, and how my blood was just for he, yet lie you did for all to see. Have them think I drank you dry, and tell them more of vampire lies, when all I did was scare your eye, to make you wish that lying lie. And tell you tales of vampire lust, and how his teeth so sharp did thrust, into the skin now turned to dust, without the blood he loved so much. So it seems you lived a dream, and wished that you had heard my scream, that echoed through his heart of seams, and touched the soul that lost it's means. But have my blood nor yours I'll take, nor cut you in my bed for sake, nor cover scars my love did make, to grant your blood thirst morbid quake. Tell your friends your bloody lies, and have them think I'm evil eyed, for love so true will see the light, and know your heart is dark as night..

The Voice of Truth

As I Lay in the blurry shadows of my faded existence I found that in the most lonely of lones and most falling of falls I do not even have myself anymore. Tip Toeing thru this ashy facade I have created for you my footprints lead the way to brutal realism which burns the corner of a room that becomes filled with light more and more with each blow of your anger ignited punishment. I remembered the last time.. lying there naked not by choice, freezing wet covered in icy water, shakily reaching for that opportunity you had dismantled in front of me after I lay playing dead and trying not to breathe,,, when suddenly the angelic voice of salvation filled my senses from the woman who had known me before I was known... I was saved... and I was prepared this time... And yes they have come to take you away,,, carry you away from me as I lay curled on the floor as my defenders take measure to protect me, I wonder,,, why did I not protect myself? I rub my neck to release what still feels like your hands around it then I look down only to become aware of how you scattered your disrespect for all I love and is part of me across the floor as if we were strangers walking among you in resentful rejection. I thought I could be content here, I thought I could be happy,,, I thought that I could forget and have some shred of normality how be it ever disguised. And so we see the truth... I hear it,,, I see it,,, I live it... only now,,, I am not lying about it. And how you hate for them to know the truth don't you? It is in this hour of contempt that I find myself turn to the past again. Oh how the past does haunt our present more than any ghost or spirit could so wander. In times past I would close my eyes and let my mind drift back to that place that only I could go to find myself... found over and over in such little glances that were taken for granted so many times,,, I drifted there and felt a little peace in knowing I was still there, in some way. existing... but not this time. That place no longer exists for me. Fading further and further away all this time until it has finally found its place away from me,,, I can no longer go in that direction when it was all that I needed to be free... This time I ran... I ran boldly and with full force in the exact opposite direction and into the place that I lost myself to begin with. Knowing the gray would shadow my brain, knowing the red would bleed me again... I went there. In what I can only describe as moments of temporary emotional insanity mixed with an incredible unhealthy need to be loved,,,  It seems I have dug my hole not only deeper but twice....
 And now... I am in even more danger than I ever was.