Sunday, November 14, 2004

Blank Paper


Blank paper,,,
Invisible ink leaves a blood stained trail,
... eyes always watching me,
I know you're there,,,
Probing my thoughts, reading my secrets.
Finding the hidden message,
Which lies between the lines of lies.
Writing, writing, I write and write
Filling page after page,
Notebook upon notebook,
With inkless writings of nothing about everything,
Everything about nothing,
Nothing about something,,,
Something I need to say, but refuse.
Page after page, I write,
I write and you read,,,
Monotonous repetition of my condition.
I will hide it deeper,
So far inside the book,
That you will never find it ... me...
Deeper, deeper, so deep it seems
The page is blank.
The first word seems to be the last
And the last, the first, of nothing.
It's not a riddle nor a puzzle to solve.
Just a word between words
That you should not involve.
A gate just ahead,
Seems a quick escape before I'm discovered,
Running through these words,
Spilling ink and blood on the ground,,,
It's getting dark...
... I know you are here...
Your eyes pierce through me,
I feel them watching me.
Seeing me,,, here in darkness.
The gate seems an eternity away,
And will I pass the Keepers test?

Freedom from this dark place? 

Obsession

I just want you utterly and completely.
To be a part of you.
To become nonexistent as if I was but am no more, but as something else... something more.
I feel as if every breath I breathe is because of you. Almost as you are that energy which gives me the strength to take it. So that in a sense, you, are that which is, and causes life for me.
To be encompassed, obessessed, consumed, and enthralled. To lie in your blood and soak every drop of its red splendor into myself and become you, or vice versa. I would so as much love to slit my wrists and have you take me into you, so that I should become you.
I am captivated, mezmerized, intrigued, and infatuated with your every detail. I smell you and I breath you in and hold that scent so that I may never know any other scent. I see you, and I find your image etched inside my mind so that when I close my eyes, you are all I see.
I look into your eyes, and I become bewitched so that I am tormented in their absence and seek helplessly for the comfort that I find in them.
I feel you, and form an addiction to your touch that without I suffer and withdraw to the point I feel I might be dying.
I love you, to the point I would live a loveless life if not a loving life in your arms. A love that would be better to be alone and in love with a memory as to be with another and longing for that which I have not. I love you entirely and all I want is to be with you and to be as obessessed with you as I can be, for as long as forever will see it.