Dormant

Wish to find that glow of beautiful discovery cross my skin in radiant beams as on the graveyard angel next door that once was me. Inches close to that feeling of understanding and consciousness that awoke me in the beginning of when I was, I, and could so be... I felt that old sense of being awake again. Putting the deepest reaching thoughts inside my spinning clattered brains onto paper and seeing the reasoning and the insanity in red and grey shades of reality right in front of me...... I am here. All the while my soul lies dormant in the chaos of my bodies ignorant betrayal of exactly who's possession it keeps. Screaming that silent echoing scream to be released and finally understand what it is to understand as I know I knew to do,,, yet I do not now. Again the ashes of my existence filling my senses with that  horrible decaying stinch of my mortality passing further and further into the same words I write over and over but in oddly paired sequences to make it appear as different... at least to me.