Darkness

Why do you abandon me?
Now when I need you?
As usual, all there is to me is light...
I close the doors,
I close the windows,
I close my eyes... I close my mind;
Only to have you blinding me still.
Your wretched shinning raining down on me,,,
Do you not see that I hide?
You force me out of darkness,
A place I find comfort and solitude.
Into the uncomfort and restlessness...
Fucking shinning on me... how dare you!
If I had not sought this shadow I would have left it's wings...
Leave me,,, go now and let me wallow in pity and loneliness.
Let me weep in solitude and nonexistence.
I love it here,, I hate it when you show through the crevasses of my hole in the ground...
Intruding on my solice...
Quieting my silent screams....

So why do I miss you so?
Insanity to love this place, but miss that one..

I heard you knocking this morning...
begging me to rejoin the living.. I heard the knock..
And I did not answer although I loved the mere presence of you outside my hearts door.
Lingering here in the dark,,,
Hiding until you are gone...
I watch you leave... all along.. scared to death this will be the last time you knock at my door...
I curl up and hide again...
Waiting for the next time...
Wondering how long it will be until you knock again...
Or if you will...

The light slowly fades to darkness once more.. and I sleep again...