Context

People take things out of context sometimes when that is all you see, it's hard to judge the big picture.
I am a very open minded person. I do love freely and I do accept people easily and I do not judge. I've grown over the years and learned that people change and that you can't expect people to stay the same or else they cannot grow. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am very opinionated yet very guarded in many aspects. I speak before thinking, I stick my foot in my mouth a lot. I sometimes say things that come out wrong and seem offensive but I would be the last person to want to purposely offend someone ever. I come off flirty when I'm trying to establish communication positively because I'm worried about being perceived wrongly, thus I am still perceived wrongly anyway. I'm confident on a lot of levels and forget that others are not and sometimes forget that content can be offensive to those who have different views and forget that just because something is appropriate to me, may not be to others. Yet I'm also insecure and find it hard to reveal myself emotionally and physically until I trust you and feel safe enough to feel secure with you. I stumble, I'm unorganized, I have horrible people skills and sometimes come off as rude even though I'm not at all, I just have a hard time getting my words out in the way they are supposed to be, I'm bad about being short and to the point when I'm in a hurry but I'm not trying to be short or mean it's just the situation and is interpreted as rudeness. I sometimes avoid situations rather than deal with them,,, but when I am ready to deal with them I can resolve any problem. I do not like feeling like I CAN'T do something, I will over reach and move mountains just to prove that I CAN... yet I feel like I cannot do anything. I have a hard time connecting but when I do connect with you, regardless of male or female, it's a deep connection that I feel no matter how far away, what paths are chosen or if I see you everyday or never again. Almost anyone who knows or meets me can see these traits very easily.
However, when it comes to deep feelings that are difficult to share with others, only a few know the real me, what I hide, what guides my creativity and makes me feel like I must always do better, what tortures me, inspires me, scares me, haunts me and what it's all about. The ones that do, understand and accept that the torment is just part of my character. But when the inspiration behind everything that has made me, ME and inspires all that I am, all that I long for and all that obsesses that desire in me to create and be "me" is always the one person that doubts it all... It kind of puts it into perspective why its such a tormenting fall that I continue to suffer and seems will for always since it seems like I've been falling for forever. I could care less what opinions people form about me, but it's everything to me what the one person who seems to not get me thinks about me.
I'd give anything if there were a way for me to open up my head and let you see everything inside it and not be scared of what you would have to say about it. At some point, you are going to have to accept me unconditionally with all my flaws, without doubt and with understanding, if you are ever going to be able to feel my love for you and it be real. Or else, it's still just the way you want me to be and not who I really am and there is no way I can be anything other than what I am. I will always disappoint you if you think I'm someone I'm not. I will always disappoint you if I try to be something I'm not. I will always disappoint you if you think I'm perfect. I will disappoint you sometimes if you realize I'm human, I'm me, but I love you and I am not going anywhere and I will always belong to you.