October 30 2005
I am happy to be here with you. Here in this place where I am all alone. Poisoning my mind, you, peculiar memory that seems to linger as a disease that has no cure. I cut my wrists today, just to see the color red and taste the bittersweet essence of life upon my tongue. A beautiful dark shade against all of this gray and nothingness. Sitting there watching the splatters on the ground create a beautiful work of art. At first in vibrant glossy color and then eventually drying to dark almost black in this darkness as I lingered there watching, unable to move my eyes from it. I reached out to feel it upon my fingertips as if to prove to myself it does actually exist. I felt the crust of it's dryness and in saddness I withdrew my touch.
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